“Looking in your eyes
Looking in your big brown eyes…”
-Inner Circle

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were at dinner at Carrabba’s chilling over some bread and a vat of olive oil and trying to have some conversation. He was talking about CDs he had brought in to his office to listen to - he tends to put headphones on when he doesn’t want to talk to his co-workers, and he jams to music - usually shit I wouldn’t listen to (Our taste in music is so supremely different from each other - I would never listen to Weird Al for serious, or even for mocking - just not my thing). He was saying how one of his coworkers was giving him shit for listening to, I want to say Bon Jovi, and loudly singing along.

One thing you must know about my husband: he is a horrible singer. He’s also a very loud one. I can imagine that he was driving his coworkers bonkers. One woman asked if I could have him bring in something different to listen to. I pledged to not get involved - whatever, it’s not my ears having to hear it.

My husband decided to take in one of my CDs of dance remixes and pop stuff. On it was the song “Sweat” (aka “A la la la la long, a la la la la long long li long long long”). My husband was telling me at dinner that the song came on and he was listening to it, and he had a revelation about the song.

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Do tell…”

He leaned across the table and in a stage whisper told me: “It’s about anal sex.”

“Noooooooooooooo!” I protested. I couldn’t remember the lyrics offhand, but I didn’t really think so.

“Oh yeah! Looking in your big brown eyes…” (Eyes? Plural? Really? Dude).

He argued for about five minutes about why he was sure the song was all about getting it up-the-butt. I argued for just as long that I really thought maybe he was kinda sorta reading too much into it. The song does have sexual overtones, of that there is no doubt… but, I really think the singer was talking about her eyes-eyes and not her ass. I’m looking at the lyrics now thinking, well… sex, absolutely. But anal sex? Eeesh - I really just don’t know that that woulda gotten that kind of radio time.

But I could be wrong.

The convo was crazy making, but it cemented why, even with my love of music, I just should not talk about music with my husband.