“I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself…”
-The Divinyls

Yes, another day, another double posting from Lyrical. I could not let the first day of National Masturbation Month go by unannounced though. It’s big news, yes? This month’s activities include, oh yes, a Masturbate-a-thon in San Francisco (try leaving the sign up sheet for sponsors for that event in your break room at work!). I believe this is the 11th anniversary of National Masturbation Month (jesus, I never thought I would type the word “masturbate” or any of its variations so many times in one paragraph – let me keep going, maybe I can break some kind of record).

Oddly enough, National Masturbation Month begins as we wrap up National Orgasm Month, though I can’t help but think they really could have combined the two and been totally okay. And honestly, has anyone been withholding, just to wait for May? Seriously?

In honor of self-love, I thought I would share with you my least favorite euphemism for masturbation – and honestly, it’s not that I’m a prude, it’s just that I think that some of these sayings are ridiculous, and should be left in the high school locker room in which they originated. My least favorite? “Rub one out”. Hate it. So, Happy National Masturbation Month – and if you have a euphemism you hate (or one you love, hey, let’s be fair), toss it in the comments.