“I think I’ll go to Boston
I think I’m just tired
I think I need a new town to leave all this behind
I think I need a sunrise, I’m tired of the sunset…”
-Augustana

Tomorrow I get to bust out of town for a long weekend (no, not to Boston), and my god, I am so eager at the thought of flying the coop and getting the hell out of my house and away from my life for the next few days, and I wonder to myself, Is this normal? Do other people long for escape like I sometimes long for escape? Because right now, I need this more than anything I can think of – the break feels almost as essential as air. How can that be?

My bag isn’t packed, though I’m doing a mental inventory of what I need to bring. I’m actually more concerned with creating a Road Trip playlist for my iPod (Suggestions, anyone?). My head, however, is mentally checked out and I’m hoping that a few days away will wipe the slate clean for me to start feeling like myself again.

I thought things would pick up and be better once my husband was home more, but I’m finding that we’re sort of in each other’s way, and that he’s not stepping in to take some of the work of the house off my plate like I was hoping. I know I didn’t marry a psychic (dammit), but I also hate having to ask for what I so obviously need. I’ve never been good at asking for help. And I’m drowning in it all.

I’m drowning in the things that need to be done around the house. I got bogged down with a project for work yesterday (which involved more time with tech support than actually doing the project – and that’s the shittiest kind of project to be stuck with), I’m trying to potty train a kid, I’m still feeling like my candle is burning at both ends – and where was my husband last night instead of spending time with our daughters? Outside towing a roller behind a rider lawn mower to flatten (?) our yard. I mean, what the fuck? I’ve never even heard of that before, and didn’t particularly think our yard needed rolling. In the mean time, I was getting the joy of being the domestic-house-wench. I really was tolerating it when he was so busy at work, because I thought that my load would lighten. But it’s not. And I’m so frustrated.

I need to get out of town. I need some time for me. I need a fresh start. I need a sunrise.